I ended my jualan stint on Saturday, purely because it got very tiring and irritating (jualan also got politics lah nyahhh.). But on the whole the experience has been very fruitful and I'm happy mappy to the pipi =). Plus I got myself a new scandal from Ubi Avenue 1 leh, don't play-play oei!

Mannn, I'm gonna miss him bad! He is like any other apek with white hairs and crinkly skin but he is sumpah charming lah siak. Somemore his ass is hot stuff, cannot find anywhere else, one.

Over the past few weeks I had to endure jokes about my non-existent janggot. Thanks eh Firdaus. Why never disturb me about my bulu tangan or bulu kaki at one go ah. You mean, mean people. I hope hairs grow many-many on your foreheads and necks until Ah Meng from the Singapore Zoo die-die want to come marry you.

ANYWAY.

I decided enough was enough, it is okay if I am ugly but it is another damned thing to have blackheads on my chin being mistaken for janggot. I angry-angry marched down to the Biore company and pointed a gun at its Chief Executive Officer's head because I wanted my free supply of many-many pore strips, pronto.

Okay fine, I actually had to queue for a stupid Biore pore pack at Sheng Shiong and kena pay $3.10 for it, so what? I cannot pretend my life got more drama than it actually has meh. I think if I become Hollywood director also pretty, because I am good at creating alot of unnecessary drama. Somemore got someone say I always make unnecessary noises so wahhh, bonus.

Eee, I can never pass putting on those bloody things lah, they always end up crumpy. But mua har harrr I damn kiasu okay, so that explains the cut up pieces at my cheeks there, hiak hiak hiak! So yeah yeah, I'd like to announce that I am still very the ugly but ugly wihout blackheads alreaday lehhh, be happy for me for once can or not?

Sial lah, the blackheads come out like nobody's freaking business siaaa. I don't have a good shot of the disgusting used strips but the many-manyness of it is something like this.

REALLYYY, IT WAS THIS MUCH SIAKKK. CANNOT CARRY.

Someone ( coughhh DAFFI coughhh. ) keep on saying that I should start smiling and looking normal in my pictures because I look better and that's the only way he is going to marry me so we can have nice sachok-and-sachek wedding photos together. ( HAR HAR HARRR SEMBARANG. ) So I decided to try it out and after several pathetic attempts ( I ended up looking cheeky or cheekier or resembling a pregnant monkey. ) this is probably the best sane shot I could get.

how? puas hati di golden chance?

Astaga-mentega, the fringe terbelah, STOP IT EH. But ho wells. This eecky picture is specially dedicated to the man himself, Daffi! Nyeh har harrr =). Because of you, now people are gonna have nightmares on Friday nights after seeing my retarded face smiling. So how? Your Tamil Tigers brothers can help save those traumatized people or not?

Daffi think he smart-aleck and say that I do all those stupid faces when taking pictures because I am insecure about my looks. My nostrils flare up abit-abit because I become flustered.

I am flustered because well, it is ...true. Other people think those stupid faces are to go along with my so-called bubbly nature, but not him. He saw insecurity and somehow managed to see right through me, even without double X-ray vision goggles.

Alamakkk, sumpah scary mary.

If there's any two special guys that I have to choose to be in my life right now, it would be these naughty pieces of monkey nuggets.

YUMMY NYE!

Yesterday was buka puasa session with the Law girls at Haig Road's S-11! And oh, a sprinkling of boyfriends ho ho ho. So I heard I was the first one to arrive, Mas Wany the last, but she got her Chicken Rice first.

But never mind lah, because always like that, what. Greedy people always get their food first, one. HIAK HIAK HIAK.

Please do not buy Crispy Noodle from that place, with or without vegetable, because it bloody sucks. Smitha likened the Crispy Noodle to the 30cents keropok Mamee but at least the latter got seasoning as its saviour lah okay. Psshhh.

Nurul is obsessed with balls.

After a few puffs and a flying keropok lekor later ( KWANG KWANG KWANG! ), we proceeded to walk-walk through the Bazaar Geylang which turned out to be quite a mistake because astaga-mentega, I feel like I am taking care of lost little sheep, can!

No pictureees, damnnn.

But ah! I got my dendeng and I am happy. =)! And wahlau. Got this no-shame someone ask me to belanja him 3kilograms of dendeng then I tell him later I buy for him a cow so he can go masak dendeng for himself. More value for money, what. Can get more than 3kilograms of dendeng if like that, okay. See, I so smart that even fatty dendeng strips cannot slow down my brain cells.

Okayyy. Now my head is spinning around on wheels.

The only reason my sister Fazlin is still alive and kicking is because I don't have a rifle registered to my name. She is too cute, too cute for words.



Ibu : Oh kadang-kadang ade orang Indian yang taknak makan daging.
Adik : Kenape?
Ain : Sebab dorang vegetarian lah.
Adik : Vegetarian tuu ape?
Ain : Makne nye dorang makan vegetables jer.
Adik : Oh! Sebab tuhan dorang daging kan!

Happy 14th Birthday to my sister Nur Farahin!

My lovely sister with Tetek Tissue (tissue boobs) and Ketiak Berhabok (dusty armpits), oh I love you, I love you! Stop disturbing me wih your stupidity lah, I never do anything wrong to you, right. Not my problem if you smell of curry, right.

Stop talking like you are dragging a lorry sampah behind, can. Tetek tissue or whattt. Ketiak berhabok or whattt. Ahhh you know what I mean you kanasai-ish bitch.

Eh got funky new earrings in white or whattt. ( sneaky grin. )

Wahhh, so abang-abang alreaday. But then again you always scold me for calling you Abang so now I'm going to call you Pakcik. Pakcik handsome nak mampos, can? Hiak hiak hiak. Or I can always call you Pakcik Sek. Don't come and tell me you're not sek, see that picture of yours alreaday can get orgasm okayyy, don't have to go fishing to get one. ;)!

I'm glad I've met you. You're a strong-minded invididual that comes with an interesting personality. Thanks for the meaningful conversations that made my brain cells jerk around a little bit. Not many guys can do that nowadays - all they ever talk about is bloody tempehs and nasik lemak (Yes, pakcik, you should get what I mean.) In other words, you're different.

Then now so old, become more and more matured alreaday, later you don't want to marry me because I am too childish for you. Sad, leh!

I not joking when I say you're husband material.

Recently I received a 1AM call from someone who say his name is Raymond aka Boy Cino and that his brothers are fighting for the Tamil Tigers.

So I said : Oh shut up, Daffi.

Nyeh har harrr. That nehneh idiot make the screw in my jaw loose from too much laughing lah. Full of nonsense, I say. Then he started making fun of online profiles which has WoRds SpeLt oUt LiKe tHiS and has those "I am funny, cute, friendly, sexy, bitchy, sweet..." bla whatever bla bla shits.

Dah friendly, bitchy pulak tuu. Dah sexy, nak sweet pulak tuu. Like, make up your mind can. Why so greedy, one? And then the PrOfiLeS tHaT gO LiKe tHiS cAn Be AnNoyiNg LeH. Type like that, not tired meh? I type one bloody sentence like that, my head spin-spin from dizziness alreaday.

You say, don't like then don't read lor.

I never say I read, what. I see the first three words like that only I happy-happy skip to other pages.

Jualan has been picking up! It is tiring but back ache neck pain never mind as long as I can get the experience in handling a mini business. CHEHHH, LIKE REAL. It helps that got some people come and visit me and accompany me break fast together-together. =)

Actually that one, look for opportunity want free food only lah but because I am nice and giving in this holy month, I also say come take, take. You want the table and chair and tablecloth also can come take.

I made a new nice friend named Khir recently and his cheeks are so bloody chubby I always expect them to explode when he speaks. Eh really leh! Kwang kwang kwang. Somemore got the cheek (pardon the lame pun.) say I got a lot of moles on my face when we first met. Like want to poke his cheeks hard-hard because I am angry he actually noticed, okay! Psshhh.

Tok fell and started bleeding in the head at Cik Ina's place. I haven't gone to visit him but I pray nothing serious comes out of it. Hari Raya is coming and I hope he gets well fast-fast.

I saw a DHL truck zoom past one fine day so I asked "Eh what's DHL tagline?". I mean, if their tagline damn good then people confirm can remember, correct or not. Firdaus squirmed a little but cannot give me answer, he always like that one lah. Bluekness. So I say "Oh ya, is it We Move the World?"

He started laughing and say I am nonsense.

When I tell him that I am very confident of myself, he reminded me of the Where's Wally blue-striped teeshirt incident. Eh hello, give me some credit, cannn. At least I have the confidence to stand my ground okayyy! Psshhh.

And now, I am very the happy to say that ...I AM CORRECT. Confirm can get one red tick if I submit to teacher, one. Eh I even have evidence leh!

see, got move, what. (Wahhh, drive truck also wear coat, one.)

Okay fine. While searching for the evidence, I realised that DHL now carries the current tagline of No one knows Asia Pacific like we do. BUT STILL! At least I remembered something, unlike some people sit there talk cock then laugh at people's chins.

IT IS NOT AMUSING WHEN PEOPLE ACCUSE YOU, A FEMALE, OF HAVING A JANGGOT (BEARD) WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY BLACKHEADS LAH OEI.

Sumpah not enough assam. Yes, yes, I am so bloody ugly mugly to the pipi until I cannot be bothered to do anything about blackheads on my chin. But must call a blackhead a blackhead, not anyhow call them bulu janggot lah siak. Grrr!

And now because of this, people who meet me in person might just start getting distracted by the blackheads on my chin, besides the seven moles on my face and the oil dripping down my nose bridge. Wahhh, cannot tahan lah like this, must become super-vain and start grooming myself alreaday.

Boyfriends are welcomed. Great-grandmothers are not.

Blogs can be a cool thing because hor, you can give out or gather information at one click of the mouse. So because I very the lazy want to personally message each and every one law student hor, I shall make this simple for everyone. =)

My fellow Year-One Law students from Temasek Polytechnic, want to buka puasa together or not? How can you don't want, it is the season to be loving and forgiving so if you don't like my kanasai face at least try to be nice during this period okay? Get pahala leh, you don't want meh? Hiak hiak hiak. Plus if Adibah comes, you can get a horny grope or two up your ass. Kan bonus kan!

Sarah, kau selenge bacin jadik kau boleh datang join kiter hanya jika kau paham ape yang aku tulis nie. ( evil laugh nyeh har harrr. )

Next week (10th October 2005 - 16th October) sound good? Actually I want to early-early say I have to keep my 15th free because it is my sister Farahin's birthday. If most cannot make it we can push it to the following week lor. So yeahhh. Reply here on the dates you're free hor.

I not sure exactly where you people want to buka puasa but drop by suggestions if you want to eh. If want to feeling-feeling Raya, we can buka at Geylang then proceed somewhere else to chill if don't want to get bored to death with all the usual Geylang-ish stuff. We can go some other place if Geylang not your cup of Lipton tea. (Nak step not your cup of Lipton tea pulakkk, aku kasik kau teh setengah masak baru kau tau.)

Easy-easy we go Nurul's house then she make for us roti john, or we can go Mas Wany's house so she can cook for us Asam Pedas Ikan. Which actually cannot work because I fucking don't eat fish lah eeeee. We can't possibly ask Lisa to cook because her beads too damn many later if one by one drop into her cooking, how? We eat, we all die choked to death then cannot admire each other in baju kurong for Hari Raya alreaday.

Nyeh har harrr. And don't start asking eh what time what time. Whyyy, you buka puase at 2pm is it? You buka puase at 2pm please call me sooner, I come join and be merry with you. Kwang kwang kwang.

Starting from today until 30th October 2005, the forever lovely Intan and I will be makcik-fied. We will be fussing over spaghetti and bee hoon kicap and macaroni goreng and epok-epoks and carrying tupperwares like never before. And if your bloody legs are alive and kicking enough to come over my house every freaking time the aromatic smell of my mum's cooking reaches your lobang hidong ( nostrils. Eh why in Malay not called nose holes ah nyeh har harrr. ), you jolly well be healthy enough to come down my Ramadhan Food Fiesta stall. Hint hinttt.

Come down and I'll help you jam your stomach with delicious stuff if you'll help me make some delicious money. Hiak hiak hiakkk. Ya ya, I no shame go and promote like this, so why? Not happy? Not happy come down and buy food from me confirm you go to Cloud Nine leh.

Here : Kampong Ubi Greenville RC. Blk 318 Ubi Ave 1. # 01 - 489. S( 400318 )

From Tampines/Pasir Ris area, can take 8 or 21. Once you see Telok Kurau Primary School the bus will take a turn and you can drop off at the first busstop you see. From there, take 63 and drop off at the second busstop (not including that busstop itself). Walk abit towards your left and taadaaaaa, can see Kampong Ubi Greenville RC alreadayyy. Proceed to look for a bright orange menu posterrr at Stall Number 7! (Aiyahhh. Anything find my number and give me a call lahhh.)

Hiak hiak hiak. Sumpah I very the semangat when I know nobody else would give a flying fuckkk.

Yesterrrdayyy I became a nice girl and accompanied Firdaus all the way to Novena. Then over at my place my mother feed him so many things until his stomach is boncit. He become happy, so happy until he become nice boy and accompanied me go Eunosss. =)

(Sumpah I fucking dark to the markkk. Dahlah Firdaus SACHOK kan Firdaus kan?! Kwang kwang kwanggg.)

Oh oh oh and somebody please clarify this with me, can?

We were browsing through some face masque thingys at a skin centre. You know how they have those "For all skin types" or "For normal skin to oily skin" words flashed across the packaging? Yeahhh, those.

Firdaus : Eh what do these mean ah?
Farhana : It means that people who have normal skin can use this product, people who have oily skin also can use this product lah.
Firdaus : Oh really?! I've always thought that it means people who have normal skin can use this so they can get oily skin.
Farhana : ( kekkeks nak mampos.)
Firdaus : Then I think, who the hell wants to have oily skin sia?
Farhana : ( kekkeks nak mampos somemore.)

I was so fucking amused that I laughed until my bladder shake-shake lah siak. But ehhh isn't it true that if it is stated "For normal skin to oily skin", it means that the product is suitable for both people with normal skin and people with oily skin? Like that, people with combination skin preferably cannot use kan?

this is just a freaking example.

Actually I was damn confident with myself then I thought yayyy I can laugh over Firdaus' selenge bacinness on the worldwide web. Sekali before typing this out I asked my sister Farahin what she thinks if she sees those words on the packaging.

She say people with normal skin can use the product to get oily skin.

I fell from the chair and got back up again.

WAHLAU EHHH. HOW CAN THINK LIKE THAT, ONE?! Got people want oily skin meh?! If got, please ask the person to come meet me and my super-oily skin and then we can happy-happy go operation and exchange skins.

My theory correct or Firdaus' theory correct ah? But actually I am very the confident I'm correct because Firdaus always like to think weird stuff and my sister Farahin ...is just weird lah okay.

I went to East Coast to relax my mind yesterday. =) Chehhh talk like some stressed kid with so many problems until need to everytime relax, one. Kwang kwang kwang. Ah wells. Got all sandy and listened to the waves crashing with Firdausss.

muka tak perlu nak step creepy eh.

At first we happy-happy eat rojak at breakwater then sekali got cockroaches come play hide and seek inside my skirt. Kanasai. Your cockroach government never make playground for you is it? Grrrness. But lucky only cockroaches ah because if the mondoks (rats) come join in the fun I would have SCREAMED EAST COAST DOWN WITH CAPLOCKS LIKE THIS LOR.

Mondoks are not bloody cute okays. I will show you what is cute.

Seif Umar

Seif Umar is such loveee! He is forever perasan whenever someone wants to take his picture and you can see it for yourself. He knows how to work the crowd leh. Sumpah menyampah sampah. Kwang kwang kwang! But he is so bloody smart and charming that he's probably gonna break alot of hearts without knowing it.

Sentosa day-out with my dear Shakeila and Liyana was ultra relaxing and downright lovely! =)

It felt damn nice just slacking by the beach even though I kept worrying about the darkness of my skin. The sun rays burn through my skin until my skin scream out in pain leh. Oh oh oh have I ever told you how babelicious my girlfriends ah? YES? Well I want to tell you again that I HAVE BABELICIOUS GIRLFRIENDS SO GO BE SUPER DEE DUPER JEALOUS LIKE CRAZY OKAY?

Okays, your face abit greenish so can alreaday.

The chicken pau I bought from Sentosa's 7-Eleven was spoilt lah siak! Got smell smellier than my sister's left foot. Kanasai, bloody tempeh also not like this. But I not really angry lah because the guy behind the counter was damn nice. He let me replace it with a wanton stick which cost more but he said I no need to pay the remaining amount. =) Sweetness like this is very rare nowadays ya.

Talking about 7-Eleven I got reminded of Azrul the High-Class Bimbo. He working at 7-Eleven Changi General Hospital now mahhh. (Ah that one not that sweet because he dropped customer's doughnut on his first day kwang kwang kwang.)

I miss him and our bimbo moments together like fuck lah okays! But it still gets amusing when he messages me and bitches about this lah that lah. OHHH AND I MISS HIS PENCILCASEEE.

Wahpiang, what kind of freaky pencilcase is this, you tell me? The kind that can give you nightmare when you sleep in class lah siak. Nyeh har harrr. Actually don't have that pink fluffy thing at the top lahhh. I anyhow take Kartika's fluffy pink pen (I think she is bimbo-in-training.) and put it behind the pencilcase to take picture.

See. I can do deceptions pretty well, no?

I think kan, my face the type if your little son sick, you will come look for me to help babysit. Well, at least that's what it seems when two of my aunts ask me come take care of their sick sons yesterday.

I also no problem with it, next time your little brother sick just come call me take care for you because I am very caring and gentle ya. =)

PERASAN JUBO JANGAN PERCAYE KEKENTALAN TUU SEMUA.

Met up with my best cousin ever to together-together nervous for job interview at Kembangan!

have you seen our nuts?

I love her okay okay okay. I can just write one whole fucking entry about her without stopping because I admire her alot. But this entry has got to stop so I cannot afford to start singing her praises kwang kwang kwang. So Intan, next time when I got time then I will inflate your ego with bicycle pump, okay.

Next up was my long awaited date with Fairuz!

freakish.

This mister is a budak kanasai because he somehow managed to persuade me to play pool. MAMPOS. The building can collapse until become liquid when I play pool eh. Hiak hiak hiak. Actually we walked all the way to cinema alreaday okay. I told Fairuz to choose the movie he wanna watch because it won't make any difference to me anyways since all the movies that are currently showing are all guy movies.

He anyhow say : No, Corpse Bride is a girl movie, what.

"you mean guys wouldn't want to watch meee?"

Like, hello. Just because got picture of woman in wedding dress you call it girl movie, is it? What nonsense.

At last I kena force play pool. Even more nonsenseee.

"are the balls supposed to be that way?"

YOU THINK THIS BLOODY SHOT WHICH WAS TAKEN WITHOUT MY FREAKING KNOWLEDGE VERY FUNNY IS IT.

Wahpianggg! Fairuz, you bloody fucker, want to become stalker also don't take such ugly shots of me, can. I look very the ...guy in this shot leh. Then somemore the face like very blur-blur sotong. You just loveee laughing at my blurrr-sotongness kan. Grrrness.

But truth be told, I ended up having fun. =) So korang-korang, anytime you wanna play pool with me can lah but if I suck like crazy, you know who to blame it on eh. Kwang kwang kwang.

Lisa messaged asking whether wanna go Club Momo. I want I want! But sad, very the last minuteee. (Sumpah flat brokeness somemore.) So I thought alah okay lah next week I will call her and a few others up so we can club until we drunk like fuck so can go dancing-dancing on the expressway. Then SEKALI someone commented alamak sister next week puasa alreaday lah.

Got hear my heart jump down never use parachute or not?

Anyways back to the abang sayang Fairuz. After the mind-bloggling game of pool he ask me whether I wanna makan at S-11 or Food Culture.

We ended up taking bus to Afghanistan area because he kempunan want to eat Roti John Special.

Ho ho ho. But then I never get frustrated with him lah. How to get frustrated with someone wearing a superdeeduper cute teeshirt like this :

Tuna adek-beradek dengan Puma.

Nyeh har harrr. Ooh ooh and I saw my ex-boyfriend Munir at the coffeeshop. If you have read my 2001 journal entries before you will actually know how much I was so into him sia. Oeiii, he is the first person I serious with until cry-cry and pull hair and all that, okay.

Fairuz went off to meet his friends after thattt. I was walking home and I got fucking bored so took the bus to Shakeila's place, pronto! Omg that woman is so yummilicious I wish they had her on a lollipop stick. Hiak hiak hiak.

Got this someone, right, put down on his blog that I am nice and sweet. Wahhh not bad lah, first time kena call like that. The nostrils become big and kembang until can put in mechanical pencil lah siak. Usually it's crazy or nonsense or bloody tempehhh but now it's nice and sweet alreaday. Somemore don't rule me out become girlfriend. Hiak hiak hiak.

Sumpah touching!

I wouldn't trade these memories for anything in the world.

(Okay, maybe trade for a million dollars, can lah. Give me a million dollars then I can spend the money on more partying and camping, then can make more memories mah. See, I so smarttt.)

yayyy!


( snore for more HOTEL pictures )

the party girls. (my face is so bloody cheena-fied.)


( fart for more CLUB pictures )

In case you pretend blind and never notice, I reshaped my eyebrows alreaday! Yayness ke mama ole ole ah ah. No more throwing up in front of the mirror just by looking at my cacat eyebrows hiak hiak hiak.

Clubbing was superfantabulous. Oh actually kan this someone whose face got no shame ( coughhh FIRDAUS coughhh ) supposed to join us but then right, he decided to happy-happy go Double O. Tell me only when he is inside, one. Grrr.

I'd just like to say that Mas Wany is very the burok and terok when she is drunk because she becomes hyper-fied and just won't sit still. Like kena take care of a small girl high on sugar candy who kept jumping and skipping all over the place lah siak.

Mato is benciness because he kept bugging me to marry him. You chop off my earlobe also I don't want to marry a serial stalker lah okay.

Had makan session with them before crashing the hotel room back in exhaustion. SO I HEARD SOMEONE SAY I SNORE FUCKING LOUD. Why, why, why. School textbook got say pretty girl cannot snore is it. I cannot help it if I got powerful lungs kan. (For the record, I USUALLY DON'T SNORE. That was because I was shagged and it was only an hour's sleep, can. I only snore when I am really, really exhausted.)

I had to clarify that just in case I got secret admirer sekali he don't want to marry me alreaday because scared he cannot sleep with me because I am a heavy snore machine.

Okay, my bra strap sumpah distracting.


( burp for more BEACH pictures )

Washed up and had late breakfast at East Coast Macdonalds before pitching up the tent! Weather was fucking hot, I think if you drink my sweat you confirm not thirsty for another two months. Nyeh har harrr. Mas Wany and I had some girrrlll time to ourselves oh joyyy! =)

Splashed around in the sea and went crazy signing all the old-school jiwang songs. I think we accidentally swallow too much salty urine-stained seawater that's why become extra kanasai kwang kwang kwang. Had our proper baths only when Mas Wany started freaking out over a bobbing jellyfish. Scared kena sting lah what lah.

Since my fingers become prune-fied alreaday also so okay lorrr.

Had another hour's of sleep before waking up to some stupid Thai guy's chattering. He go and shout at the girlfriend "Eee! There's an ant!" while shifting around. Wahpiang eh, the ant even smaller than your tummy leh. You so big like that, scared of ant for what. I don't think the ant want to bite a stinky old man like you also.

Nyeh har harrr. Sorry I sound angry. I mean, if someone disturb your sleep like that, you also won't be so nice to offer him a cup of coffee or what also, right?

Walked to Mas Wany's friend's barbeque pit for free makan kwang kwang kwang. The food damn delicious and since Singapore so small, I met Mimi ( someone I know ) there also. Hehhehness. After that Firdaus and Izam came back to join us whereby they joined forces to bully me.

THEY FORCED ME TO HAVE MASS ORGY WITH THEM.

Hiak hiak hiak. No lah, I joking. If mass orgy no need to force me. They actually made me go bowling siaaa. I SUCK AT ROLLING BALLS, YA SO, STOP LAUGHING AT MY HANDICAP, CANNN. Psshhh. Very the traumatizing but haiyahhh, never mind lah, don't want to be a spoilsport.

But also quite shiok leh, get to see someone ( sneeze MAS WANY sneeze. ) THROW A POOR GREEN BOWLING BALL BEHIND WITH A FUCKING LOUD THUD, INSTEAD OF TO THE FRONT. Sumpah classic, babe.

Then after that they wanted to take Izam's car for a spin. This Firdaus, I cannot tahan that bloody tempehhh, he think he in Initial D while driving the car. My small intestine fall out don't want to come back in lah siak. Ho ho ho. But Mas Wany quite okay in driving alreadayyy. Amaciam girl? Go get your driving license quick so we can go up to Johor together or something yaaa.

(I'd talk about my own driving license but Ayah says if I want to take now I have to pay for myself. He will only pay for my lessons if I agree to take them in 2008. AYAH IS EVIL. Like, hello, how to pay for myself at this moment if I even have to dig inside a coin purse to pay for a drink from 7-11?)

Slacking moments and few drinks later, Mas Wany decided to go to LaaLaa Land. So I decided to have my own fun by anyhow pee-ing behind the lifeguard place kwang kwang kwang. LAZY LAH HELLO. But I enjoyed myself walking all the way down East Coast and back on the sandy beach, before sitting down to watch blinking lights and passing aeroplanes with Firdaus at the breakwater. =) It was peaceful and breezy until I could forget my troubles for a moment.

Somemore got professional clown beside me go and talk cock sing song leh. Cannot find elsewhere, okay. But so sad lah eh, cannot answer all my challenging questions. I ask him why the lights from the ships all orange in colour, cannot blue or green or purple meh? CANNOT ANSWER. I ask him why in Malay it's called semut-semut but in English it's called pins and needles and not ant-ant? CANNOT ANSWER ALSO.

Dahlah Firdaus. FIVE MORE MINUTES SUA. Kwang kwang kwang.

That morning all of us went home with bacin faces and aching body joints nyeh har harrr.

To all who made those few days wonderfulicious, thank you many plenty! (I saw this quote on the cab back from clubbing sia hiak hiak hiak.) That's to Smitha, Shafah, Mato, Ashwin, Izam and Firdaus. (Okay, and maybe the apek on crutches who terrorized Mas Wany on the train too nyeh har harrr! That was some scary shit.) I love you all many plenty too okayyy.

Special mention to that special girl in my life right now, Mas Wany. (I got sound lesbian, meh.) Thanks for everything darling girl.

Just here to put up some pictureees of Liyana's birthday chalet.

ah ah, nak muka mentel jerrr.




like so obvious checking picture of own face, right.




gonjol and gonjol-er.




FAEZAH, SO MUCH FOR CALLING ME A GREEDY PERAKOS.




please ignore me, can.

Wahlau eh. The last picture I very the ugly mugly to the pipi. I not only look bloody fat, but also idiotic like hell. These Girlfriends lah like sticky cheebye, put their devil horns together to bully me until in that picture I look like seow.

I WILL BREAK OFF ALL YOUR EVIL HORNS ONE DAY MUA HAR HARRR.

Just came back from second trip to Changi General Hospital to visit my dear Mel. And to stuff all her keropoks and froggie chocolates inside my little tummy kwang kwang kwang. Her bed become my picnic ground lah siak. Faezah the bloody mak nenek calls me perakus (something like greedy lah.). EH EH KAYPOH NYE KAU. Mel never throw me into jail for stealing her froggie chocolates, you want to talk so much cock for whattt. You jealous my tummy got more space than yours, is it?

( sticks out froggie chocolate-stained tongue. )

I am overjoyed! =) Lucky I never fail anything sia. Considering that I also never put in effort for the papers because I cannot be bothered, my results are satisfactory oh yayyy. Please eh, I don't need any strings of As.

Not like I want to work in the legal/business field mah. If get string of As also for what, flush them down the toilet bowl also don't have kick, one.

Not gonna update much now though. I've only had plus-minus 3 hours of sleep over the past 3 days so brain system cannot work properly liao. My body parts also feel like kena twist round and round inside candyfloss machine. Pain until want to pretend laugh inside blog also cannot, okay.

Someone commented that I must have alot of time on my hands and between my legs to always blog this much.

Which is quite true lah. I got feel abit guilty for blogging too much. Actually it's because my brains like to think a lot of random sha-kaa-laa-laa stuff and I everytime also want to share-share, even though everybody also heck-care what I think.

So in this entry, I will blog about everything that I keep on hogging inside my grey matter and then go on the much-awaited hiatus. =)






#1 - No more teddybears for Ibu.

The other day, my family and I were watching a documentary about vicious grizzly bears. They showed this bloody video of a poor guy kena attack by a hungry big bear. My sisters and I were gasping and gasping when suddenly Ibu rushed out from the kitchen and started to squeal.


"Eh why the teddybear go and attack the guy until like that?"

My sisters and I tried explaining that a real live bear is different from a cute teddybear but Ibu die-die don't want to listen because her head very hard. She said that angry thing eating up a man's face on the TV screen is called a teddybear.

Sometimes Ibu acts so child-like I feel like chucking her in a childcare centre and telling her to eat her biscuits properly or else the policeman come catch her.






#2 - You, girlfriend.

I am very touched by what a babelicious girlfriend has put up for me in her blog. Somehow, she always knows how it feels inside out.

Kini ... ku hanya ingin lupakan semua
Mengenangmu menyesakkan ... jiwa
Kan ku hapus air mata
Hingga ku dapat sembuhkan luka...

Ku coba hadapi
Walau pahit terasa di relung hati
Harus ku lewati
Seakan semua tiada pernah terjadi

Thanks, Mas Wany, for being there through both ups and downs. Love you to bits, munch munch. Never knew you had the jiwang streak in you lah kwang kwang kwang.






#3 - Young and free.

I'm wishing so hard that I can go back to those times that my pulmonary veins hurt.

Oh what fun times. This was when the most important thing in life was whether I had enough crayons to colour with and I was the most happy singing along to cheesy, politically-correct Barney and Friends songs over and over again.

Plus, last time I not fat, one.

And it was in those innocent times when my sisters didn't talk back much lah. Farahin had such lovely, like-want-to-dig-out eyes and Fazlin would coo lovingly when I hugged her.

Now Farahin uses those same eyes to jeling (rolls eyes) at me when I tell her she smells of curry while Fazlin goes "OEI!" even when I try to touch her pinky finger.

My cacat bulu kening (retarded eyebrow hairs) better start growing much fasterrr. I'm starting to look freakier than usual sia.

Die-die must go for re-shaping before Hari Raya, hor. If not my relatives will not open their doors if I go visiting them with my eyebrows looking so ugly like that.

Oh oh oh! I shall happy-happy go for mole removal too. In case you don't bother looking at ugly beings like me upclose and haven't noticed, I have six bloody moles on my face and it gets bloody distracting when I look at myself in the mirror.

Eh but my eyes look quite pretty schmetty to the pipi here, leh. =) No need to go for plastic surgery/botox alreadayyy.




#5 - Missing my first law class.

Cheebyehead lah. Why I cannot be in the same class with these seow people anymore? What if other people steal my string of hubbies? Nyeh har harrr. Ah wells, things change all the time, gotta deal with it.

I WILL STILL MISS YOU ALL LIKE FUCK LAH HOR. MUST STILL LET ME BOUNCE ON YOUR LAPS AND TELL ME I AM FOREVER CUTE OKAY.

(Arun and Amar not in picture because I suspect they are busy ass-fucking in the girls' toilet. Kartika also not in picture because she busy doing don't-know-what with the apek teacher inside the computer laboratory.)





#6 - Arst-fartsy

There are some people who don't believe I last time very into art and such. And then there are also some people who still cannot get over the fact how KENTAL-BODEK (something like obiang lah) I was when I was younger.

This old-school picture should clarify everything.

WHAT'S. WITH. THE. OBIANGGG. OUTFIT.

Anyways, I don't know if Professor Madya Yaacob still got keep that batik painting of mine or not. Maybe should call him and ask. (Kwang kwang kwang! Talk like as if he good friend of mine like that eh.)

To be frank, I think that art piece of mine is abit ugly so I still don't understand why mine was chosen to be given away to the VIP of the art exhibition. My art teacher say can fetch a few hundred in the market, okay, don't pray-pray with fire.

EH THEY ASK ME TO SIGN AT THE BACK THEN GOT CAMERAS ALL OVER TAKE MY PICTURE SIGNING IT, LEH.

Wahhh, never mind the obiangness, I feeling-feeling superstarrr that time seyyy, nyeh har har.






#7 - Kindergarden kids.

Recently, got this Zul guy (I think.) add me on Friendster. I don't know where he remember me from, but I sort of remember hearing about him in the TKGS circles (I also think.). But never mind lah I thought, friend-friend on Friendster also not as if he going to smile at me outside. Always like that one, what.

Sekali, I found this lah siakkk.

Wahpiang eh! Last time I got go kindergarden with him, meh? Run in the same race in pukimak blue PAP shorts somemore. I think that one looking kaypohhh should be him lah, got resemblance. Hiak hiak hiak, bloody old school kia. I wonder if he still as cheekylicious ho ho ho.






#8 - Un-cruel intentions.

There are three bad, bad habits I need to kill over the next few months.

1) Stop eating so much until the cheeks so fucking tembam like that.
2) Stop smoking so much until the teeth so fucking berkarat like that.
3) Stop being perasan jambu so much until the face want to kena smack like that.

Oh, not forgetting : STOP BLOGGING SO MUCH UNTIL THE WORDS ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE THAT.

Okay, done with the unfinished business liao.

There is Liyana's birthday chalet this Saturday ( WEEHEENESS! ), class barbeque on the 20th ( flaps arms. ), a Toni and Guy haircut appointment somewhere in between ( do they do mohawk? ). Clubbing and overniting with my madames starts on the 22nd ( dies of excitement. ). Should be starting work at 7-Eleven soon ( re-dies of anxiety. ). Might drop by the Malay Arts Group camp on the 24th.